Confessions From a Work Trip with an Almost Toddler
“ I encourage any moms on the fence about traveling for work to strongly consider it. Will it be tiring? Definitely, yes! Will you learn a lot both professionally and about yourself as a mom? Absolutely! It’s not easy to travel for work as a mom but I am here to tell you that it is possible and with the right support, it is more than worth it. ”
I am a few days back from my second work trip as a mom and how do I feel? My top three are probably tired, invigorated in my work, and grateful. Let’s go through each one to analyze the reality of traveling for work as a mother to a baby under two years old.
Tired. I don’t think that tiredness is exclusive to being a mom but I do want to acknowledge that it is exacerbated by being a mother. Never in my life have I felt as tired as I have been since having my daughter. The tiredness from this work trip however, is on another level. Since my daughter still falls asleep next to me, it is nearly impossible for me to be away from her overnight. I don’t think she is ready for that yet, and honestly, I am not either. This meant that my husband and daughter had to come on this work trip with me. Bringing the little one along meant that the trip was exponentially more exhausting than it would have been than if I would have traveled alone. I had to prepare in advance and pack not only mine but also all of the things she would need. This also meant that I had to prepare what I call our travel essentials bag. You can check out my post on traveling with a little one to learn more about what I put in my travel essentials bag. But packing the travel essentials bag means I have to make trips to the store to ensure we have everything we need. You can bet my husband and I were at the store the night before our trip getting the last minute items so that we could set ourselves up for success. We finished packing late into the night, after midnight to be exact, and had to be up at 4:30am. I will acknowledge that we could have been better prepared but life happens and we attended a viewing and funeral for my husband’s great grandfather the day prior and day of so it was a bit more difficult than normal to pre-prepare. We also had a housewarming party and Easter the weekend before. Regardless, life got the best of us and the tiredness compounded and we had a tiring start to the trip. To top things off, I hardly slept because of the anxiety and not wanting to oversleep so that did not help the exhaustion one bit. The thing about tiredness that I am sure other parents and especially moms can relate to is that no matter how exhausted you are, you show up the next day for what is needed from you both professionally and as a mom because you have to. I did it tired and in the end it all worked out.
Invigorated in my work. After attending the summit - which was a two day training that has helped me better understand an area in which I did have much expertise - I was reminded about why I enjoy the work I do in the first place. Recently, things in my professional life have felt very routine and similar (especially since I have been in higher education for over 11 years now and in medical education for over five). I also want to add that since becoming a mother my perspective on work has changed. In general, I always considered myself a high achiever that prided herself based on accomplishments and accolades. After my daughter was born, I realized that I could not be the best mother if I only prioritized my professional life without acknowledging that my values had shifted because I now had a baby to think about. Now this is not to say that I have taken a backseat in my career but that I have had to build my skills in having more firm boundaries with my time, becoming more efficient with my time, prioritizing my workload, saying “no” when it is needed, and learning to delegate or ask for help. Now back to the summit. Being in the space with amazing professionals that are so passionate about helping students succeed really reminded me of my professional mission and reason for loving working in student affairs. It reminded me of the importance of building a culture that is inclusive and welcoming of students from all backgrounds. I am so glad that I took the time to grow my skillset and be in a space with likeminded folks doing work that makes a difference. I am glad that I pushed past the discomfort and the reservations I had about making the trip because it was absolutely worth it.
Grateful - lastly, this trip made me grateful for so many things. First, I was thankful that I have a work environment that promotes professional development opportunities and allowed me to build skill sets outside of my area of expertise. Second, I was so grateful to my husband for joining me on the trip because without him, this work trip would not have been possible. He was with our daughter which meant that I could give my full attention to the training without having to worry about her. This also meant that we got to experience this city together as a family unit whether for breakfast or lunch or a museum during my down time. Additionally, it was so nice that I was able to see family that I had in the Chicago area during the trip. My cousin made it a point to make time for us to hang out and have our daughters spend time with each other. Finally, I was thankful for the fact that at her young age my daughter is having experiences that I didn’t have growing up as a first generation, low income, daughter of immigrants. When I think about the access and experiences that she will get as a result of my career, I am really excited about how this will set such a strong foundation for her to build her dreams and build a life even more expansive than the one me and my husband have had.
Overall, this work trip while very tiring, was truly a lesson in the importance of stepping outside of your comfort zone and stepping into precious memories - both personal and professional. I am glad I was brave enough to make the decision even though it was uncomfortable if I’m being honest. Even though there were tough moments like when my daughter got fussy on the plane or when I had to leave her early in the morning on a Saturday while she was fast asleep, it was so worth it. I encourage any moms on the fence about traveling for work to strongly consider it. Will it be tiring? Definitely, yes! Will you learn a lot both professionally and about yourself as a mom? Absolutely! It’s not easy to travel for work as a mom but I am here to tell you that it is possible and with the right support, it is more than worth it.